Sunday, April 10, 2011

SendinG "ThanK yoU" cards is NOT Synonymous with GraTiTude

the wedding's done.  the gown & veils are put in their bags to the back of the closet.  the wedding cake's top tier is in the freezer.  the wedding gifts have accumulated.  now, we have thank-you or TY cards to do. lots of them.  
"thanks for the wonderful gift"..."thank-you for your generous gift"..."we appreciate the beautiful present."  thank you for this.  thanks for that.  after awhile, writing these words in various, unique ways for over a hundred wedding gift-givers, they all become the same:  the individual handwritten notes, the numerous boxes of thank-you cards, the numerous stamps bought.  then it becomes redundant, impersonal, and--let's be honest--a pain.  that's when we newlyweds forget an important basis of each thank-you card:  humble & genuine gratitude.
let me tell you how MZ & i kept it as our primary goal (being grateful), even more important than buying expensive stationery or getting those fancy-schansy "wedding stamps" from the post office.
weeks before our wedding day, we started receiving wedding gifts, shipped either to my home in sT. LouiS or MZ' flat in aleXandRia, vA.  most of the gifts were sent to me and so we opened them together via gChaT video.  during these months, we kept close tabs of who gave & what was given (brides:  take careful not of unique aspects of the gift to mention in your card).  we hand-wrote each of our TY cards on beautifully-embossed cards & sent them quickly after we received the gifts (another note:  timely TY cards are good).  we wanted to stay on top of our "gratitude notes" so that everyone who gave--whether they could attend the wedding or not--would know their kindness was noted & kindly received.  i realized how important this was after attending numerous bridal showers and weddings.  
i'm not a fan of the pre-made, preprinted TY cards that are out there.  i made an effort to look at registries, pick out gifts, pay for them, & ship or bring them to the wedding or shower.  i remembered how i felt when i got those pre-printed cards:  impersonal, unnoticed, & unappreciated.  what those pre-made typed cards said to me was  "thanks for giving the gift but i didn't have time to write that on a piece of paper addressing you or the gift."  but when the bride or groom took the time to write me something in their perfect cursive or chicken-scratch, it made me feel noticed.  that MY gift got their attention, irregardless if they liked it or not.  they were grateful.  and as a past wedding guest and shower attendee, that means a lot.
i understand, everyone's busy & things can get hairy especially before, during, & after the wedding is done.  i get it; but making time to simply write out a personal note--even if its barely legible--tells the gift-giver that you cared enough to do just that:  write their name and your gratitude.  you may not have said "thank you" a million times over in your card to them, but the receiver gets the point:  in your own words, you are grateful.  and how about those wedding couples who never bothered to send TY cards/notes?  don't get me started on what that construes:  carelessness, thoughtlessness, & definitely ingratitude for the gift.  it's happened to me before & trust me:  they shouldn't be expecting a baby shower gift.  my tolerance for "i'm-too-busy-to-say-thanks" mentality is very low & that goes for weddings as well.
bride & groom please note: "never underestimate the power of a hand-written note."

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