all because of a dating site IM, star treK movie, & a plane ticket to sT. louiS, i married my best friend, MZ...TWICE. why, yes, i have two anniversaries. nothing better than that, except having to remember more dates. and we thought it was only a "guy thing."
the husband (MZ) & i met almost 2 years ago while we both lived in the waShingtoN, dC area. nothing too dramatic at the beginning. it was only suppose to be another one of those killing-me-slowly-kind-of-online-dating first dates. it was memorial day weekend, a humid saturday night, and nothing to do. wanted to see a movie but wasn't so sure if i wanted to go alone. soooo, i had this online dating profile (won't tell you which dating site, becuz i'd need to get paid before that happens) and decided to see what was going on. honestly, i was going to read some of the success stories of online dating, in hopes that osmosis would take place and i'd actually meet a great guy. wasn't happening lately. bummer. until i got this IM from this guy (MZ) i had never communicated with on the online site. we bantered with the typical small-talk that happens on dating sites ("how are you?" "what are you up to?" "can we e-mail each other?"). i wasn't too excited at first: maybe it was the fact MZ was 2 years younger than me (i had preferred older guys) or that i was going to cancel my profile on the site or i had the holiday weekend off (i'm in healthcare and it's rare) and nothing to do. all my previous dates from the site had ended-up with any of the following types of men: desperate boys, womanizers, whiners, sex-addicts, or non-committers. i was over it when MZ had IM'd me. within 5 minutes, i gave him my number (side note: never, ever do, ladies!) and we talked for another 15 on the phone. in under an hour, we met at the movie theater to see "star trek" the movie. not an ideal 1st date, but it worked.
we dated for a year...then it ended. abruptly. i could tell you all the not-so-pleasant things that happened to cause it to end, but i won't. it just wasn't pleasant. then i moved away late last summer from the eastern seaboard and started graduate school in sainT LouiS. i had begun seeing someone else during the summer in dC and continued the relationship long-distance when i moved to the miDwesT; but it got rocky soon after i moved. it just wasn't going to work out. it was going to end but i wasn't exactly sure how i was going to do it or how i was going to cope with another break-up: TWO failed relationships in 2010. i was over getting hurt or being sad. so i did the next best thing: i ignored and avoided the impending future, so i stayed in the relationship. call me pathetic, but i just wanted to make it to 1.1.11 without everyone who saw my love life as an epic failure in adult relationships. i just wanted to survive the year out and then make the decision to end it later.
since MZ & i had such a bitter break-up, we had not communicated to each other for months. he had no idea where i was at. then sepTemBer rolled around and it was MZ' birthday. so i sent him a two-liner email wishing him a happy birthday and happiness. that was it. MZ emailed & called back (couldn't believe he still had my number), but never got a hold of me till later that week. a 3-hr phone conversation w/ MZ led to him buying a plane ticket to 'the Lou' (what we affectionately call sainT LouiS out here) to see me that weekend. his goal was simple: to win me back. MZ hates flying with a passion. if he could, he would've done the steamboat from the baLtimoRe harBor along the easT coasT, around fLorida, & up the miSSiSSippi RiveR to sT. LouiS if he could. it's amazing he even came (on a plane), fully knowing that i was in a serious relationship with someone else.
again, that ocTobeR weekend was eye-opening. MZ' visit showed what a hard-ass i can be sometimes: i avoided every conversation that involved the former "us" and tried to keep it light and shallow. a total "guy move" from me, but MZ meant business, so he brought it up during a time i couldn't avoid it. let's just say his persistence is admirable (boys, take note) and his sincerity was golden. but i wasn't going to budge: we were never going to get back together. when i took him to the airport, MZ knew that there was no chance for us. ever. until the point i watched him disappear into the sea of people going through TSA checks, i realized my face was wet: i was crying. i didn't realize what those tears meant at the time. but then i figured it out soon after. in less than 2 weeks from that moment, i ended my relationship w/ PouTer (my ex- now). took some time, but MZ & i got back together.
fast forward to now: we got engaged during thankSgivinG weekend last year while visiting my folks out in CaLifoRnia and found my wedding dress the next day. we went through our civil ceremony on my father's birthday in FeBruarY and we had our wedding ceremony on the first day of spring this year. it's been a whirlwind, mind you. but a beautiful tornado at least.
if you had asked me TWO years ago that i would be married (TWICE: the civil then the church) now, i would've said you were smokin' crack. i was satisfied being singleton and "serial dater" for awhile. but now, almost 60 days into it, i've traded in my "miss" status to be a "missus." this, my friends, is my journey into the beautiful unknown...and i'm loving it.
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