it's been a long time...*singing Aaliyah*

why hello there!  i know that it's been FOREVER since i've updated any of my blogs and especially this one.  you all might've been thinking that i'd died or M + i called it quits or i just didn't care; but none of the above is true.  i'm alive and well (still kicking), M + i continue to do this thing called 'marriage' and having a grand time at it, and i've missed blogging so much; but most of my time has been overtaken by academic obligations (i'm graduating from grad school next week!). i'm a big poo poo.  i know. piss-poor excuse but it's the truth.  it's a short update right now, but i'll be working on the blogs very soon (e.g., this weekend) and will be busy updating you as to what's been going on.  a picture below is what we've been up to.

taken at my school's 'spring soiree' (what i affectionately coin as 'grad school prom') in april, this is what we typically look like when we're together:  complete goofballs, but loving it!  this year's theme was 'old hollywood' and we played/dressed the part. M's slicked down hair, bow tie & pocket square was fitting for my black/silver frock, bright red lipstick and curled hair.  down to my outrageous michael kors shoes, i was ridiculously circa 1940s red carpet premiere, minus the red carpet, movie star persona or cary grant.  but who cares about him anyways, when i got me some M, right? 
this is it for now, but promise more to come very very soon.  to all those who believe in love, struggle with juggling life + marriage, or just want to know what goes on in a long-distance marriage such as ours, keep reading. keep believing.  and keep trusting in me that i'll be able to get my act together and actually blog.  toodles!

'paper year' potluck

     instead of having a private dinner for our 1st anniversary (our civil ceremony in HaGersTown, mD took place on Feb. 11th last year), we wanted to share it with our friends + throw our first potluck in our STL home.  this past sat. night, we held the 'paper year' (paper is symbolic for the 1st year of marriage) theme for our celebration in our humble abode.  this would be our first 'real' party thrown together as a married couple and it would be the first major event where eLLie (our 6-month-old lab puppy) would be exposed to a bunch of strangers in our home.  we knew from the get-go that it was going to be pretty memorable.  our guests were only asked to bring a paper copy of their dish recipe to the potluck; but some brought additional cards and paper-based presents.  so thoughtful and cute!

in addition to our guests' dishes and desserts, M + i cooked-up appetizers, entrees and created a festive non-alcoholic punch.  with all the food we had, no one was hungry to the point, we sent food home with everyone that would take it.

     the guests consisted of friends from graduate school and church, of which many had never met each other.  the mix of people was amiable and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, especially when  M + i gave a rendition of 'thriller' from MichaeL jacKson's dance game on the Wii.  many had not seen our engagement and wedding slide shows created by our wedding photographer, so they were able to see that as well.  i know that this past year has been a bit strained since M + i are in a long-distance marriage.  i think it's been hard on both of us to be apart, especially with everything that has been going on with our families and my health.  when i watched our slide shows again during the party, it reminded me how lucky M + i are to have each other.  God-knows we are not the 'perfect couple' (even though how hard we try).  like every other couple, we have our spats, disagreements, and pet peeves.  i think the secret (at least ours) on keeping it together as a couple is God.  i think that if we were left to our own carnal and human devices, we'd be in ruins.  i know this sounds so cliche, but we believe that it's been God Who is the glue that's kept M + i together throughout our relationship.  watching our slide shows with our dear friends made me wrap my arms around M even tighter.  i was just happy to be with him and to be able to share our happiness with our friends, crowded in our living room.

eLLie chillaxin' on her fave perch: our leather couch

     a slight mishap DID happen:  during the potluck, we had to put both dogs in the bedroom, since both were starting to 'beg' for food scraps from our guests.  while we were showing some friends the bedroom and the dogs, eLLie split through the cracked door.  within seconds, we heard surprised screams from the living room where the rest of our guests were seated and eating.  apparently eLLie made a bee-line to the couch and toppled a plate of food, several cups with lime-green punch and some of the others' plates.  as our guests scrambled for paper towels and M 'captured' eLLie and returned her to the bedroom, friends scattered and described how eLLie 'jumped and contorted her body to turn on the couch', laughing while they told their recollections.  couscous was all over the leather couch and lime-green punch was being soaked-up with paper towels while i grabbed the vacuum to do a quick sweep of wayward couscous.  even though this 'setback' happened, our friends seemed pretty chill to laugh the whole thing off.  i'm sure they'll be talking about it whenever they think about our potluck.

   when our last guests left almost to midnight, M + i were able to quickly clean-up and settle in for our last night of sleep together before he would drive the next day to head back to the DC area.  remember what i said about long-distance marriages??? saying goodbye and letting go of a bear-hug grasp is so bloody hard.  this upcoming weekend, we'll both be heading to CaLi for Dad's 65th birthday (which is the same day as our civil anniversary).  maybe we'll get to 'sneak off' and do a 'couple thing' to celebrate 'us' again.

Miami Beach Holiday in December

During the first week of finals in early December, I received a student scholarship to attend a conference in Daytona Beach, FL.  This trip meant several things:  warmer weather, the sun, and wonderful people to meet.  The conference was for only two days and it provided me an opportunity to not only learn about what's going on in rural health, but spend the weekend visiting old friends who live in an area of Miami Beach, commonly known as "SoBe."  After a heinous, five-hour drive (all due to the combination of geriatric retirees, tourists, and insane 'the Fast & Furious' wannabes) in myrental car from Daytona Bch to South Beach, I finally made it to our friend's, J, high-rise condo.  To my surprise, J's 7 months pregnant!  (I found out when we first hugged and I notice her pronounced belly.)  J wanted to surprise me and, boy, was I shocked!  The 'preggers bug' is going around, I informed J:  first her, then my sis-in-law...I kept the crossing my fingers in superstitious hopes that I won't catch 'whatever's lurking in the water making people pregnant.'

 J and her fiancé, Y, live on the 21st floor and, I swear, I felt an altitude nosebleed coming on while looking down from their balcony.  Beholding a breathtaking view, you could see the cruise and cargo ships at the Port of Miami.  I arrived late in the evening but 'SoBe' seemed to be crawling with partiers and frolickers.  The humidity and ocean breeze hit me when I (dressed in black sweats and jacket) stepped out of the rental car.  But all I wanted was to fall asleep...on the floor, if needed.

The following day was spent soaking in the view of ships going in and out of the Port, catching-up on 'girl talk' over Pizza Rustica pizza and Ghirardelli chocolate samples on the infamous Lincoln Ave line of restaurants and bars.  The Floridian sun was intoxicating and it didn't feel like Christmas season or even December:  there were wild lovebirds pecking at grass below a menorah and driedel made entirely of seashells and erected in the midst of the restaurant's large umbrellas.  Shortly after lunch and yogurt from Tasti D-Lite, J & I spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by their condo's pool watching the sunset and cruise ships go out to sea.  Later that night, hubby arrived into MIA and just the two of us spent the rest of the evening and night in Beacon Hotel, an art deco hotel on South Beach.  Though the night hours were filled with middle-age drunk folk attempting to make it to their appropriate rooms, M + I spent a restful night in each other arms. 

The following morning, we woke up to bright sunshine and headed out for a walk in front of our hotel on Ocean Ave.  After a brisk stroll, we went back for breakfast and checked-out.  Arriving at J & Y's condo, J made us fantastical Cuban coffee, extremely strong and delicious espresso of which both M+ I are now in-love with.  The rest of the day, we visited the Miami Seaquarium and we may have gotten a slight sunburn from the "usual winter weather in SoBe."

On our last evening in Miami Beach, we watched the sunset from South Pointe Park and shared a sushi dinner at Hiro's Sushi Express on Washington Ave. with our gracious friends. 

M + I bid our farewells to J & Y and to each other, as we boarded separate planes:  me back to St. Louis and M to Washington, D.C.  The trip to Florida was a blessed reprieve for our long-distance marriage.  I got to spend time (even if for a moment) with my husband.  Every memory or moment I've shared with M, I am reminded of how little time we've had together during our first year of marriage.  In any case, my opinion of long-distance marriages remains the same:  regardless of how you attempt to sugarcoat it, they suck.

newlywed wish: morning breath kisses every day

i have a kick-ass husband.  we've been doing this every-two-week-visit schedule while we've been apart (me here in the midWest for studies and he back in DC for work) during my Fall semester of graduate school.  it's not been ideal (i hate the schedule because we don't wake up to each other everyday) but we do the best we can.  in light of everything going on in my own health and Dad's health, M has been my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, and my tangible fortress.    recently, i had to change my travel plans for the end of the month:  instead of attending a DC conference and seeing M, i am now going to CA to help out my parents during Dad's recovery.  M has also changed his travel plans and scheduled a few days off from work to make that horrific (for him) transcontinental flight from the east coast to the west coast to help out and visit.  he's been the most understanding person in the "madness" i've experienced these past few months.  how the heck did i get lucky with such an amazing and understanding husband?


we've been doing this couples' devotional, Love Dare, on Gchat and its been amazing for our newlywed life together and keeping ourselves strong in our long-distance marriage.  this week's dare has been focused on making sure we do something unexpected and thoughtful for each other. it's kind of hard when we're 800+ miles apart, but we get 'A' for effort.  he's coming to me for an extended weekend visit this week, so we'll make a valiant effort to make-up for lost time apart.  his visits seem so short and quick:  i count hours we have together as a couple (i've labeled 'M time' on my iCal) and try not to cry every time i watch him disappear in the TSA lines at the airport, heading on his flight back to the east coast.


it's been a little over 8 months since we got married.  most of that time has been spent apart because of work/school.  it's not want i've wanted, but i suppose we sacrifice for what we want in the long-run.  i'm the biggest baby when it comes to time apart, while M has tried to be the "manly man" and not complain about it.  but i see it in his eyes:  it blows for him, not having his wifey see him come home every day.  one day, it'll be a reality.  then, we can wake up each day, give each other a good morning kiss and then complain about morning breath.  i wish for those days to come.

long-distance marriage BLOWS!

here we go again.  after a summer of living together as hubby & wifey in dC, we are now (again) subjected to the idea of long-distance marriage. really??!?  it's not the finest idea but it apparently seems the most logical and "best" scenario for us now, as i continue & finish my schooling in the STL.  it's as if we're dating once more yet more complicated:  we still have our marital spats (the usual suspects:  what's the budget, what are we going to do about our "child" a.k.a. doggie during this ordeal, and sometimes about "why didn't you tell me i had a stain on my shirt?") but it just doesn't seem fair when we conduct these kinds of args over g-chat video or on the phone.  M makes me LOL when i've become to frustrated with him during an argument that i completely fizzle out.  at least my fire-cracker attitude does.

but back to the long-distance marriage, highlighting the fact that we're newlyweds.  if this was a faCeBooK status, i wish there were a "dislike" button with a thumbs-down picture i could keep pressing again and again.  it's bogus that we have to live this way, but i'm beginning to fight it less and work with it more.  the situation stinks more than i can pinch my nose, but we (or at least i) are beginning to deal with it.  it's just a shame that he's not the person i see when i enter the newly occupied unit in one of STL's most beautiful living areas.  the fact that our doggie CC isn't with me either, adds salt to the wound.  i'm lonely without my little family here.  granted, i AM busy with my responsibilities locally and nationally (let's not forget full-time graduate studies and leadership commitments), but it's just not fair (complain, complain, i know) that we are subjected to being a fragmented family.  we are going to try to see each other every 2 weeks (whether he comes here or i fly back to dC).  if anyone have any other suggestions on how we can keep ourselves (or me) on the upbeat about being in a long-distance marriage, i'm totally open to suggestions.  realistic ones, please.